missing

You were my drug,

I could not live without you.

Nights were easy because my dreams would consume me,

But days were hard because it would be more than an hour till you texted me.

But now we don’t talk anymore..

I hate how i feel when we are apart.

I gave everything, my mind, soul, and ...heart.

You were my world..

The sun couldn’t even take your place.

I was so addicted..

To your voice, those words, that smile..

When you sang with me and to me.

Our song still makes me cry,

I sing it with the tears welling up in my eyes.

I keep running away from those thoughts..

The memories.

It burns so bad..like smoke in my lungs.

I think i found someone else to focus on but..

I still think about you so much.

We would fight,

You would be in a rage,

While i’m on the floor crying over the words we just said.

I hated it so much..the fact that you can leave so easily while i’m still here trying to get over you.

When i’m ready your gone,

When i’m terrified to commit your all for it.

It could never work…

But we tried so hard for love.

Always wanting forever to be together.

This.. what we used to have..

Made me feel like a boat lost at sea.

Floating on the waves,

Then one day I get beached.

You were the ocean and I was meant to be with you,

But you never want me to stay.

I’ll leave for a while then miss you, the sound..

The feeling of being with you.

So i come back to the water just to try again..

I get lost and you push me back out.

..Beached again.

I needed you like a junkie needs their high.

You kept me so happy all the time.

but it never feels like the first time.

I can’t keep hiding it.

I wish I could hate you.

I wish i could forget you.

This pain in my chest, the knots in my stomach.

The constant worrying.

You know me better than anyone.

It used to scare me, but now I miss it.

You were the person I could talk to about everything and you understood exactly what I meant.

I want all that back.

I want to make it right..

But instead...I’m stuck here..

Missing.