no longer home

I’m breaking again

With all of this pressure

I’m caving.

Life keeps throwing these choices at me.

But I don’t know what, who or where to choose.

Do I have to choose right now… or even choose at all?

I can’t breathe.

I feel trapped and yet I don’t admit defeat.

I’m so afraid to change,

More afraid to see who will stay and who will leave.

Terrified to find out all the lies and face the hard truths.

So many options with so little bridges left to burn.

I don’t know where to go, my mistakes follow with every turn.

I can feel time slipping through my hands.

I’ve lost track of days.

I feel trapped in a haze.

Barely anything is making sense

I just want to curl up inside myself and put back up my walls.

I feel defenseless.

I feel lost.

I feel...alone.

Home is no longer home.