shut down

I wish I could close up.

I hate being so open to people.

I wish I could lock myself closed.

I hate it when strangers walk right through me and track in the bad that stains and scars me for life.

Am I easy to leave??

Do I not leave a mark on you??

Can I not hold your attention for very long?

Did you lose interest the minuet we started to become closer?

People come and then they leave..

Vanish..into nothing then reappear when I’m finally doing better just to tear me back down.

Can they not stand to see me smile??

The smile so many of them claimed to love?

Maybe it’s because… just maybe

They realized … without my smile.. They felt the nothing… the empty feeling they wanted to be rid of when they had me.

Just maybe.. I do leave a mark.. A scar.. A memory that.. Impacts them.. Makes them feel some sort of way.

I don’t know…

Maybe i’m really not that important..

I wanna help but I can’t..

I can’t help it…

Maybe… just maybe…

Some day, someone… won’t leave.. And i’ll learn what real love is.